At the beginning of February 2018 I started this healthy living journey, not just healthy eating but working on my state of mind too.

My mind is the issue here because I wouldn't be over weight if it wasn't for that stupid thing! There is always a trigger. It's just figuring out that trigger and learning how to deal with it. This goes deep, way too deep for a blog post.

For the past few years I would always tell myself that I need to sort myself out but my mind has always been the thing to hold me back.

I would always look at these inspiring stories about people who have lost so much weight in a year and they have completely changed their way of life which is incredible and admirable. But yet all I thought to myself was that's just impossible for me to even consider doing that. Well, it's not impossible, clearly and I just needed to be in the right frame of mind.

No matter how many stories you read, how many people tell you that you need to get healthy and 'lose weight', it won't change anything unless YOU are ready.

Photo by: Natalie Lucie

What made me feel ready to change?

 The truth?

I was depressed. I'd just lay in my bed for most of the day and not want to do anything. The only thing that got me up was the work I had to finish as I would never let anyone down. Being self employed, my work is my baby and I wouldn't ever want to fuck it up.  But other than that I just didn't care about anything. I didn't want to see anyone, I turned my phone off a lot of the time just so I didn't have to deal with anyone messaging me.

I'm normally one of those people that when I feel like crap, 15 minutes later I tell myself to stop being a dickhead and sort my life out. But that wasn't happening to me. I did not care about anything, I felt like the me many years ago that I hated.

I was having an outer body experience. HONESTLY. I was seeing myself led there like a fat potato and thinking how pathetic I was.


I realised, the chances of me even being born were 1 in 400 trillion. You only get one life so why go out of your way to feel like shit and fuck it up. Why waste your time feeling sorry for yourself instead of sorting your problems out.

Something just clicked.

I say something because I don't know what is was.

Maybe it was just the build up of all of those feelings at once. I don't really know, but what I do know is that no matter how many times people tell you to lose weight, get healthy, excersise more etc... It isn't going to do shit because you are simply not ready to make the change.

The ultimate thing you have to ask yourself is 'How do you want to live your life'? 
 Or 'How do you NOT want to live your life'?

I can tell you now,  I want to live my life with more energy, more clarity, I want to be able to see beautiful places and not be restricted because I'm too unhealthy to walk a distance. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see.

I don't want to be a very long list of things that I hate.... you get the idea.

I'm no way near where I want to be with my weight / body but I can truly say that I am in the best place possible in my mind and to me, that is the most important thing.

I want to share my journey with you and hopefully help you along the way if you're going through a hard journey.

Just remember, your journey starts with your mind.

'If you don't wan't something enough, you will always find an excuse'.

No comments

Popular Posts